It seems that no-one can attend an industry function without flaunting his bro-mance these days. Could it be that these self anointed anti-Christs of sales management might be protecting our executives from excess gamma radiation emanating from all of the I-phones, I-pads and androids? Perhaps they are man-servants attending to our hapless #1′s during the arduous conga-line of the buying group conferences that masquerade as sales and marketing strategy meetings?

In this bizarro world of never-to-be-manufactured “concept car” equipment, where sore-losers are lauded, factories, due to roll-ups, can now write their own three name specs (thanks B.R.). In by-gone days, all steam equipment was made by the same guy. Now, like self-publishing gone awry, any boy can grow up and have his own range line and refrigeration label (courtesy of the People’s Republic).

It is high time that the 20-somethings start taking over. The formerly smoke-filled rooms that masqueraded as industry gatherings are fast being replaced by texting/tweeting/F-B’ing. The rules of engagement have shifted, so don’t make eye contact or expect a return phone call.

Sales processes are poorly understood. On the foodservice equipment supply side, technology is adopted at a pace that only a snail could love. By the time our lethargic (or non-existent) marketing departments get around to the mundane, such as generating a landing page, the technology will be obsolete. Initiatives are DOA & obsolete by the time they are launched. Scan that QR code while it lasts!

Meanwhile, no end-user wants to be “sold”. The disconnect between buyer and seller is palpable. Clients know 80% of the story before engaging with a salesperson. Can you say Instagram or Pinterest? Is it a question of technology or is it a paradigm shift?

We must eliminate the “stop the world I want to get off” attitude. Times they are a-changin’; are you coming along for the ride?

Originally published in The Schechter Report May 21st, 2012.

Although this is a mostly proper strategy for contract operators, it presents a dilemma for the foodservice equipment and supplies marketer.  Today’s mandate is for us in foodservice sales to create demand.  Simple fulfillment will not drive top-line sales growth of foodservice machinery and smallwares.  Generating interest in the durable goods that our factories manufacture and distribute must necessarily be our current path to success.

It all starts with the food.  How many dealer sales reps, manufacturers’ reps or factory sales managers truly know food?  How in depth is our understanding of the ways it’s produced, shipped, packaged and prepared? Nonetheless, this information is integral to the processes that our foodservice equipment is expected to manage.  Do we know the varieties of produce? Do we know the mother sauces? Do we know the portions, the various cuts of meat, the sizes of seafood, the temperatures that are required?  Clearly, I could go on.  Although many sales organizations employ culinarians on their sales staffs, the knowledge often resides only in their silo. As a consequence, the typical non-culinary industry professional is lacking in a working understanding of the very end-products that the whole enterprise is based upon.

It’s not only ignorance that is the culprit here. The cultural bias found among many E&S specialists results from his or her overexposure to all things mechanical.  As a group, we tend to overemphasize the products that we supply, and to downplay the food that these products support.

There is hope, and it comes from the unlikeliest of sources: television.  The recent popularity of foodservice industry based programming has elevated the artisans of our commercial kitchens to celebrity status. This, in turn, has spawned a reawakening of the culinary arts. As a foodservice professional, I and my peers must be in on this conversation.   So, too, has social media played a role in drawing all of us into the world of food.

Whether we concentrate on preparation, storage, serving or scullery, we need to be aware of the fact that we are people who feed people.

Spiders, Spatulas and Speed racks, oh my! What images do they convey? If you’re a baker, (AKA a “Dough Hoe”) they might conjure up visions of the fryer skimmers, icing knives and sheet pan racks. A restaurateur could easily imagine them as table bases, burger turners and liquor bottle holders.

Another critter that creeps into most commercial kitchens is the salamander. The historical one, which originally looked like a metal peel, doesn’t at all resemble the unit that might be a cheese-melter on steroids, or could be a steak-house broiler on a break.

And speaking of peels, can you distinguish between a make-up and take-out? Aren’t they really a shovel and/or a spatula?

The dough scraper is also a pan scraper, bench scraper, and even a dough divider (although that term may lead us to the mechanical Promised Land).

Does a china cap ever appear in an Asian kitchen? And what makes a chinoise different from it? I’m straining here, as I’ve become enmeshed in a fine point.

I’m also wracking my brain trying to distinguish amongst the various wire-rack shelves, bun-pan racks (or are they trolleys?), pot racks, speed racks, wine racks, baker’s racks, raconteurs and racketeers that have been known to rack up hours in foodservice kitchens. If you’re looking for a drying rack, look no further than an icing grate for a bun pan (sheet pan).

I’ve often tried to take a pass on the window by referring to it as a double over-shelf on the chef’s – er, front – line. The cooking – er, back – line should never be confused with the cook’s line which may or may not be a prep-line.

The multitude of traditions present in our modern foodservice environments illustrates the millennia of cross-pollinations in food preparation and serving. We shouldn’t be surprised that many common items will have different names, as their usage and ethnic etymology would dictate. It is also clear that the diversity of cuisines has spawned the convergence of terminology in this polyglot environment.

From classical French terms, to the lingua franca of whichever immigrant ethnic group is currently manning the back–of-the-house, we’ve developed a rich and colorful vernacular in foodservice.

Let’s celebrate the diversity of our culinary melting pot. Or was that a sauce-pan?

It was February 27, 2012; we were working the night watch on the barbecue detail. My partner’s Eddy Pitco. My name is Fry-Day. Grill Sergeant Joe Fry-Day. It was 2:06 PM when we got a call from a cook in distress. She needed help with a problem. A cooking problem.

“I need a Char-Broiler.”

“Uh-huh.”

“A 4 foot char-broiler.”

3: 58 PM, Eddy and I drove over to the restaurant and we talked to the owner. We intended to grill her over why she wanted a char-broiler.

“Grill Sergeant?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“What’s the source of the smoky flavor from a char broiler?”

“Just the fats, ma’am.”

Considered one of the most flavorful ways of cooking, grilling can be done indoors or out. There are many choices in grilling equipment. The char-grill (not to be confused with “grille”, an architectural term) can be gas, solid fuel, or some combination of these. Electric is not prevalent in the commercial world.

Mistakenly referred to as “barbecues” in the northeast, and also known as “under-fired broilers” (due to the location of the heat source), these units are anything but under-fired! They are hot, hot, hot. There are several options to make them hotter still. Cast iron components, and higher Btu input equate with more heat to better sear the food and seal in its juices.

A bed of ceramic or lava rocks is typically laid out under the grilling surface, while the open flames are directed up from below. The stones are there to absorb and burn off the grease and drippings from the food. Metal bar stock, known as “radiants” alternatively take the place of the stones. A popular consumer brand calls these “flavorizer bars”, due to the fact that they act in lieu of the rocks in creating the smoke that enthusiasts crave in grilled food.

Although burgers remain a contender for the most frequently char-broiled item, up-and-comers now include vegetables, whole fish, seafood, and of course the perennial favorite, steaks.

Connoisseurs will specify the size of the grill marks, a function of the rods or casting making up the cooking surface, and the spacing between them. Narrow spacing is preferred for fish and other delicate items. Chrome or cast iron are two other available options for the grids.

Heat can be harnessed from underneath the char broiler as well, with optional slide-out racks performing as bun toasters.

We humans have been grilling meats for approximately ½ million years. Cook-outs were popular even in classical times. Currently, controversy over the formation of certain compounds in the smoke competes with the claims of the health benefits of cooking with less shortening.

“Grill Sergeant?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

Can I install a char-broiler under my hood?

“That’s right ma’am, only if it is executed in the manner prescribed by law”

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there lived the enchanted Queen of the Foodservice Rebates. One day, a plan was hatched to reward all of the brave knights of the realm (AKA dealer principals) for swearing their fealty to her – and to the factories that were part of her Buying Group Empire. If the knights would exclusively (well, most of the time) be pure of heart and not wander away from these factories for purchase and sale of equipment and supplies, they would, in addition to the plunder that they were accumulating during the year, be paid handsomely (rebated) at year end. They all lived happily ever after.

This, of course, is a fractured fairy tale. In the E&S business, group purchasing has created a culture that relies almost solely on sheltered income for profits. We have, in fact, wandered far into the enchanted forest of less than exclusive deals. Back in the mists of time, the various buying groups once touted mutual benefits for producers and distributors alike. The producers got guaranteed payments in exchange for allegiance to the brand offerings within the construct. The distributors got limited distribution in exchange for their fiscal prudence.

The enchanted Queen used her charms to convince all of the Cinderella dealers that they could compete at the ball with their larger and better capitalized ugly step-sisters. This self-fulfilling prophecy came true, much to the dismay of all involved. Be careful when you wish upon a star – you just might get what you wished for. Artificially leveling the playing field has spawned many incongruities.

Many believe that if they don’t sell at (or below) cost, that someone else will. Specifications are written based upon BG affiliations which ill-serve the end-user.

Slaying the E-commerce dragon also became a cause célèbre. “Fill the moat with MAP (minimum advertised pricing) and MPP (minimum purchase pricing) dictates so that no-one can undercut us” cried the townsfolk. If only they knew what Pogo did: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”

We, in the foodservice equipment and supplies biz live in a fantasy world where demons and ogres are lurking around every corner. The true enemy is not our trading partner; it is a lack of fiscal discipline. This is the same force that causes countless folks to rely on tax refunds as a forced savings plan – without accruing any interest or benefit!

Most business people would never give an interest free one year loan to anyone. Yet that is what our dealers and distributors do every day. They unsustainably sell at or close to net in order to drive volume, hoping that profits will eventually be realized at year-end in the form of a rebate. Unless all conditions are met, the payout is not even guaranteed.

We’ve all created this situation where sheltered income is the only profits that we see. Now we all need some magic to solve it together.

• Factories must not absorb the freight costs on single unit shipments.
• Drop shipments from factories should be handled at a different discount rate than stock orders.
• Dealers must commit to training their sales staffs to compete on value rather than strictly on price.
• Local stock of E&S has to be encouraged.
• Prohibit reps and regional managers from facilitating the poaching of business outside of their marketing areas.
• MAP and MPP should be strictly enforced where they are in place.

We can turn the tide on profit erosion, and in turn better serve our ultimate customers.

The truth is that there are no villains here. No monsters, no ogres, no wicked queens, just a legendary industry trying to survive and emerge stronger.